Write when you don’t feel like writing. Write anything, write everything. Write for your sanity. Write to heal those wounds. Write to fill those voids. Write to satisfy that pull. Write when your voice is tired. Write through the tears. Write when the words won’t come together and you have to drag them out. Write of your triumphs. Write until you finally feel sleep setting in and the pen feels heavy. Write to tell your story, the way only you can. Write, because if it is in your bones, you know there is no other choice.
i am evolving.
I am not ashamed of my softness.
I am not ashamed of my tears.
I am not ashamed of my insecurity.
I am not ashamed of my fears.
I am not ashamed of my scars.
I am not ashamed of my flaws.
I am not ashamed of my mistakes.
I am not weak. I can carry this weight.
I am a woman. I am not sorry. I am evolving.
New Moon In Leo…
Light in my soul…
Prayers on my lips…
Oil on my hands…
Love in my heart…
I Choose Happy.
I choose happy because I’ve found all else much to heavy. Right now, in this moment. I choose to really, REALLY, let go of things I can’t control. I’m evolving and it’s painful some days, getting more comfortable in my autonomy, looking my shadow self square in the face. Crying when I need to, learning to appreciate my silence and that of others. Most importantly, I’m letting go of things which no longer serve me. To cease overthinking and be fully present in each moment, realizing thats all any of us have. Inside, the work has begun and continues daily. The release of control has been one of my hardest lessons thus far. I have in no way mastered it, but I have a firm grasp on the absolute intention to not be beaten by it.
I choose happy because I refuse to self-sabotage any good thing that has and will manifest itself into my life. I deserve every blessing presented to me, I deserve every blessing I’ve yet to see. I live in a state of gratefulness and expectation of abundance in all ways. I have so much work to do in this life, fear, doubt, negative thought patterns and behaviors, low-vibrational dealings, anything that shows itself to be a hindrance, can no longer stay here. I will not allow any blockages in my life in any form. I must become more serious and remain vigilant about what is allowed to enter my space. My mental, spiritual, emotional, and physical members must all line up now. Every part of this vessel must remain light in all ways in order to carry out what I’m here for.
I choose happy because the God in me is pure love and light, who am I to withhold that? It’s my gift and it should be given away. I choose happy because I would prefer my ego starve to death and my higher self elevate, and unfold through dimensions and across planes like I never dreamt she could. I owe this to myself. I’ve suffered many things, some at my own hand, so I won’t place blame anywhere. It’s always been my job to love me, first. Sometimes I check out and need to check myself. So, with love and kindness to myself, I say. I choose happy, everyday. I choose to do the work to heal these broken pieces. I choose happy because I deserve peace after continued unrest. I choose daily, to commit to the work of loving me, to being joyful, to staying light.
Peace & Much Love,
Tae’ 🙏🏽❤✨
Remembrance
I got good at letting go. I didn’t want to, I had to. I’ve lost much in this life. My dignity, relationships, money, self love, honor, family. I’ve experienced loss until I was broken. White flag waived. Dried tears on my cheeks and all out of prayers. Hell…my mind. I even lost my mind. I had to do that too, lose my mind. That’s how I got back to me. I remembered who I was, who I’d always been. Even when I didn’t want to look at myself in the mirror. When I poured over every bad decision I’d ever made. All those nagging little insecurities. They all tried to make me believe that I wasn’t worthy. I had been tricked, blinded, overwhelmed. Made to feel like a beggar in my own life. I was a queen. I AM A QUEEN. Made in the image of the most high. Crafted from the dust of constellations. I am the moon wrapped in bronze skin. I have been blessed to carry life in my womb twice. I have suffered heartbreak so devastating I didn’t know if I’d make it back. A work of art created by the most skilled of hands. Wombman. How dare I forget that I have the blood of royals…of, warriors in my veins. Excellence is my birthright. And so, I became good at letting go. I let go of those things which I cannot control. I let go of living the lesser life. I let go of anything and anyone who threatened to compromise my happiness. I let go of all that dead weight. It didn’t belong to me and I’d carried it long enough anyway. I’m on a journey. I’ve learned to pack light along the way. So everyday, I practice the art of letting go and I make room to receive the overflow of abundance in return…❤️
Little Lessons…
I was debating on writing about this and I’m not entirely sure why. Maybe because it made me emotional and it took me down a notch as well. I went into work yesterday, not really feeling well and about 5 minutes after getting logged into my computer I got a phone call. I was instantly annoyed because I hadn’t even been able to get my thoughts together for how I was going to tackle my day and someone was calling already. How dare they. So, I answered the phone sounding not as friendly as I could have, and the lady on the other end was asking for someone who was clearly not me. As she continued to try to get my name out correctly, I interrupted; corrected her on my name and as she went to apologize, I was short with her and asked if she had her claim number available. She gave it to me, continuing to apologize for mispronouncing my name. As I was pulling up her information she began explaining the reason for her call and how she had her son dealing with this because she had been under so much stress that she could hardly function, and talking to different people was becoming confusing. I half listened and proceeded to try to find out what she needed so I could move on with my day. I asked if she’d prefer that I speak to her son to make it more convenient for her and she then asked if she could just tell me what happened and then we could decide if I’d need her for anything else. I obliged and we went into her story, this is where things began to change. She started out telling me that she works 5 days a week currently and she’s been a beautician at the same hair salon since 1974, you see Ms.W is 71 years old I later discovered. She explained that she’s been trying to cut back on work because she’s been having some issues with her back, but she has clients that have been coming to her for years and they’ll only come to her. She happened to take this day off to take care of some personal business, namely this leak in her apartment. Ms.W told me that she’d had two previous issues and she was reluctant to contact the manager, who lives right across the hall because she’d felt like she was bothering him or being a nuisance in the past even though she was not at fault for the problems. She told me about a time that she was doing laundry and her dryer started smoking so she was immediately worked about the possibility of her upstairs neighbor who uses a wheelchair being hurt if a fire were to start, not to mention how the other elderly tenants could have been affected. She went in an unplugged her dryer because she didn’t want the source to smolder and break out into flames. She contacted the manager and was brushed off. As Ms.W continued to talk she would interrupt herself to apologize saying, “I’m sorry sweetheart, you don’t need to hear all of this, I know it’s not important and I’m wasting your time.” I assured that she was fine and she’d go right to the next thing. She told me that she’d had a series of unfortunate events happen over the past couple of years, including being in a car accident where she was hit by someone who ran a red light, she sounded like she wanted to cry as she talked about the passing of one of her grade school friends, dealing with her declining health, and now this. She sounded so tired, just worn down by life. She sounded relieved that she had someone on the other end of the phone that was willing to listen to her just so she could get some of this out. She sounded….alone most of all. As our call was coming to a close she told me these words, “Thank you so much for talking to me today and being so patient. I know us older people can be a little difficult to deal with and I try to be mindful of that even with some of my clients that are older than me. I guess I’m in pretty bad shape but I always try to remind myself to look on the bright side of things and there is always someone who is worse off than I am. I’ve always thought of myself as a very strong woman; I’ve raised my 3 kids by myself, I’ve worked hard and I know that God only puts on our shoulders what we can carry and no more. I’m so grateful that I have my family to support me, and I hope you have a family and people who love and support you too because that’s important. I’m blessed. You’ve been so kind to me and patient with me today and I thank you for that.” I felt so small and so grateful in that moment. I was ashamed of how I had treated her, embarrassed of my lack of patience that she overlooked. Ms. W reminded me in that 30 minute conversation that love, kindness and compassion are such strong forces in this earthly realm. We don’t practice them frequently enough, being so caught up with our own emotions and agendas. Ms. W, I dedicate this post to you. You are a beautiful soul, an earth angel, and a humble teacher. I thank you for your words of wisdom that you didn’t even realize you were imparting. I thank you for reminding me that there is something to be learned from everyone we encounter. I thank you for reminding me that you never know what someone is going through, even if they seem okay. I thank you for reminding me that when we think of others first and send out positive energy into the universe, it comes back, always. I thank you for reminding me that when I’m vibrating too low to remember that I am love. I radiate love and that is my gift to give freely. ❤️
Much Love & Namaste,
Tae’
He….
And just like that, he came crashing through my atmosphere. Breaking sound barriers, all barriers. Quietly, swiftly, fiercely, and all at once. He took my attention, like a King takes his throne. I bowed gracefully, to the power of his love. My sun and stars. How do you warm my skin, cause me to glow in your light; and in the next moment softly blow across my face like a cool evening breeze? I take in very part of you, I study your being my love so that even when the end of this time comes, you’ll be with me still. I get lost in your eyes, the sparkle in every hint of Amber. The tint of your skin…. like the bronze backs of the great phaoroahs. I’m pulled by the sound of your voice strong, yet sweet and smooth like honey straight from the comb. You are a wonder, my King. How did I become so fortunate to have you by my side? I must have done many great deeds lifetimes ago to have been gifted with your love. You took my attention, and the rest of me followed, happy to oblige.
The Constant Eye
I pay very close attention. Always, even in my silence. To the many subtle nuances of life. To what people do, what they don’t do. To how they respond when you don’t give them what they want from you, when you don’t act how they think you should, when you don’t believe as they do. People are strange creatures, even me. We can learn a lot from one another, and I try to take something from every soul I come into contact with. Even if it’s realizing and continuing to learn who I may be now, or who I never want to become in the future. An incentive to re-adjust or change some things that may not be so desirable really. Because we can find a little of our former, present, or future selves in anyone we criticize or come across right? So my thought is this, why not just focus on becoming a better you, PAY ATTENTION to the kind of person that you want to be. What kind of legacy do you want to leave? Not one of us are perfect, but every one of us has the ability to self evaluate and make the necessary changes to do and be better.
Love, Tae’ 💓
Now…
Now, I will ask for what I want. If it is to be mine, God will make it so. Now, I will speak my mind, but only in love. Those that are offended will go, and I will let them leave peacefully. Now, I will live my life on my own terms, not seeking the approval of anyone but the Most High. Now, I will honor the light within me, and share it willingly with those who may need it. Now, I will make love my principal goal, because now love is all there is. Now, I’ll do what’s best for me…
Turning Trials Into Triumphs
I used to be the kind of person that wondered, “Why me?” I felt that I could never catch a break; if it wasn’t one thing it was another, *insert every other negative cliche’.* Then I started to ask God what He was trying to teach me, He had to be trying to show me something. After all, no one person goes through a barrage of issues without some reason, right?? The more I opened my mind and heart to draw in the purpose of my “problems”, the more I began to understand that I already have the victory. If you think back , can you remember a time where maybe you went for a job interview and you didn’t get it, where you crushed? Defeated? Did another door open to something even better than what YOU had in mind? Bingo!! When you lean to your own understanding, your glass will always be half empty. This is valid in any case, I could write a million things that I experienced as a negative in that moment and it turned out to be in my best interest.
I’ll share a story with you. In July 2013, I was laid off from my job, my husband was injured an unable to work so my salary paid ALL the bills.
” Stress” isn’t even a suitable word to explain what I was going through. I submitted over 200 applications in a period of two months, I cried almost every day, I couldn’t see a way out; I was losing it. I prayed and asked God to please give me the strength to “grow” through the situation and not just “go” through it. At the end of my two month job hunt and struggle to make ends meet, I got hired during my phone interview for my current job. After seven months in my position, I was promoted to a team lead. Of course, this position came with more responsibility and I was ready. Here’s the good part. I was ready because of the job I had lost in July. I wasn’t qualified for THATjob when I got it, but God blessed me. I was able to gain so many transferable skills and invaluable knowledge, but I had no clue it was all to prepare me down the line. All I could see in the moment was that I lost my job and I had my family to look out for. It wasn’t until about two weeks ago when I was riding home from my job, cozy in my new position, that God gave me this revelation. Let your trials become your triumphs. Every “bad” thing that we endure in life is only as bad as we make it in our minds. Positive thoughts and energy can open your life up to so many great possibilities! Challenge yourself today by saying these words, “I will look at my so called “problems” as opportunities for something greater in my life. I will choose to think positively, to actively look for the good in every situation, and I believe that I am a conqueror. Life is only as good as my thoughts.” Be great!
Extraordinary Tae
theworldaccordingtotae 